为什么要努力赚钱？因为怕跟人握手，人家戴的是卡地亚，你戴的是橡皮筋。
Why work hard to make money? For fear of shaking hands with others, they wear Cartier and you wear rubber bands.
枯藤老树昏鸦，挣钱还不够花，依旧寡人孤家，我丑没人肯瞎。
The old tree with withered vines and the crow with faint crows still has a lonely family. Im ugly and nobody is willing to be blind.
史上最神秘的部门：有关部门。
The most mysterious department in history: the relevant department.
真羡慕你们一路丢了那么多人，我呢，一路被人丢。
I envy you for losing so many people all the way. I was lost all the way.
男人生气就像放炮竹，砰的一声就结束了。女人生气就像点蚊香，持续高温，圈圈循环。
A mans anger is like a firecracker. Its over with a bang. A womans anger is like a mosquito repellent incense. It keeps high temperature and circulates in circles.
有些人出现在你的生命里，就是为了告诉你，你真好骗。
Some people appear in your life just to tell you that you are a liar.
这么多年一直在等幸福来敲门，可是一直不见它的踪影，是不是我家住太远了。
Ive been waiting for happiness to knock on the door for so many years, but I haven seen it. Is it true that my home is too far away.
有人存你号码是为了打给你，我不一样，我是为了拒接。
Someone saved your number in order to call you. Im different. I refused to answer.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
Love your neighbor, but don let her husband know.
曾经我也小鹿乱跳过，现在可能是撞死了。
I used to jump deer, but now I may be killed.
人的一生中也至少要有两次后悔，一次为奋不顾身的爱情而导致怀孕，一次为说走就走的旅行而赶上春运。
In ones life, one has to regret at least twice, one is pregnant because of the desperate love, and the other is catching up with the Spring Festival transportation because of the travel.
（图片源自网络，侵权联删）
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