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Crucial Conversations(关键对话:如何高效能沟通)

时间:2021-07-05 11:34:24

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本文部分摘自知乎史蒂芬关于“英语口语沟通”的精品回答。

我以前老板(美国人)调回美国总部工作,走之前还不忘告诉我们说任何话时,一定要用tentative的语气。

他还推荐了一本书《Crucial Conversations》,据说他的建议就是从这本书里来的。

刚才找了一下,美亚上有英文原版,中亚上有有中文版《关键对话:如何高效能沟通》。

所谓tentative语气,字面上的意思就是「试探性」的语气,也就是不要把话说死,给自己留一点余地。

注意tentative 不等于 uncertain的语气,注意和maybe这种语气区分开来。

比如多用seem, appear, sound, look这样的词。

例如.

This is wrong 改成This seems to be wrong.

反正在下结论的时候(哪怕明明是很确定的事情),记得加一个seems, appears,语气没那么生硬。

描述一件东西用looks good,sounds great 比 I"s good 要好。

1)不要总是说maybe这种垃圾话,如果确定性比较大的情况下,用probably(实在不行改成seem也好)

Maybe this is right

This is probably right.

could we have a better way to do this ?maybe(maybe 你妹)probably

2)给别人提建议要用it would be better代替shouldThis design should be changed.It would be better if we can change the design.

3)表示一件事希望你做,但是不强求时,用It would be nice/great 而不是I need you to xxx, I hope you xxxx, could you?I hope you can come today.It would be nice/great if you can come today.

4)问别人你要东西/ 信息时,用May I have...?而不要Could you give me?What"s your name?May I have your name?《血战钢锯岭》里,法官要老Doss把那封信给他,他是说 May I have the letter ?而不是Could you give me the letter?

5) 请别人帮忙做一件事时,在前面加(by) any chance,意思是如果有时间/有机会,很委婉。By any chance, could you help check the data?

6) 指责别人时候,用现在进行时比一般现在时要更委婉。You are impatient/argumentativeYou are being impatient//argumentative

7) 表达要求时多用进行时。We need to do this as soon as possibleWe need to be doing this as soon as possible.

8) 用would like 代替want吧I want to have a meeting with you.I"d like to have a meeting with you.

9) 慎用pleaseplease有时候稍微带一点要求命令的语气,特别是在给客户或者老板写邮件请求某件事,把please替换成疑问句Please reply to me by today?Could you reply to me by today?

10) 用let, allow更礼貌Please tell me your feedback.Please allow me to make a proposal.

11) 美国人特别喜欢用I guess代替I think表达委婉的语气。I think we"ll leave nowI guess we"ll leave now.

12) 用过去式表示一种委婉语气口语中经常用过去式表示一种委婉语气,比如 I wanted, I

thought, I was thinking,其实说话留下余地,因为这是表示过去的状态,没有说明现在的状况,从而形成一种委婉。很多人误以为thought就是"以为”用来表示过去,其实不是,只是表示过去的状况,不一定是和现在相反。thought一样可以理解成 “认为”。

13) 某些负面情况下用have difficulty 代替 can"t,委婉把责任推向自己这边I don"t understand your question.I have difficulty understanding your question.这是我在知乎上发现了,自我感觉很有帮助。同事们可以把日常与客户口语沟通的小技巧和案例留言,我觉得很快可以get更多的知识了!

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