一、我不是不想好好的工作学习,只是每次放下手机一会儿,它就会吃醋,害的我不得不去哄它几个小时。
I do not want to work and study well, but every time put down the phone for a while, it will be jealous, harm I have to coax it for a few hours.
二、现在的人真是虚伪,总是说自己过得多么的不如意,可是每次称体重的时候就又胖了几斤。
Now the person is really hypocritical, always say oneself lead how unsatisfactory, but every time weigh weight of time again fat a few jins.
三、你知道你最应该自豪的一件事情是什么吗?就是“王健林都没有我的微信,但是你有”。
Do you know what you should be most proud of? Wang jianlin doesn have my WeChat, but you do.
四、其实我以前是个敲可爱的女生,只是由于力度没掌握好,用力过猛一不小心就把可爱给敲死了,所以后来就变成了沙雕。
In fact, I used to be a knock lovely girl, but because the strength did not grasp well, hard too hard accidentally knock lovely dead, so later it became a sand sculpture.
五、请你去找一个能让你开怀大笑的人吧,这一点我真的做不到,我只能把你美哭。
Please find someone who can make you laugh, I really can do that, I can only make you cry.
六、那个谁,我发现自从我们在一起之后,我就活得越来越不像我自己了,我觉得我现在比较像你的老婆。
That who, I found since we were together, I live more and more like myself, I think I now more like your wife.
七、好吧,我现在承认我朋友圈那些照片都是假的,都是P的,其实我本人更可爱!
Well, I now admit that those photos of my circle of friends are fake, are All P, in fact, I am more lovely!
八、今天别人问我怎样用一句话来证明你是单生狗?我:“电动车后座上都是灰”。
I was asked how to prove in one sentence that you are an unaccompanied child. Me: "The back seat of an electric car is covered in ash."
九、夏天穿人字拖最大的悲哀是什么?大概就是出门买菜被别人踩了一脚,突然发现人字没了,但是那个还在。
Whats the biggest tragedy about summer flip-flops? Probably is to go out to buy food was stepped on a foot, suddenly found that the word was gone, but that is still in.
十、学生时代有一种美好的友谊是什么?“陪我去小卖部,不想去;去吧,我请你,好,走吧”。
What is a good friendship when you are a student? "Come with me to the refreshment; Go on, Ill treat you. All right, come on."
十一、我现在已经到了那种为怎样花钱而发愁的境界了;我就想问问大家:“这十块钱,怎么支撑到下个月”?
I have come to the point now where I worry about how to spend my money; I just want to ask you: "How can I last this $10 till next month?"
十二、已经二十多年了,就算月老是在任意点人,也应该轮到我了吧?
Has been more than 20 years, even if the old is in any point, it should be my turn?
十三、相信大家小时候都有一个超人梦吧,我告诉你们,长大后的我实现了这个梦想,现在每天上班一个人干八个人的活,我可真是个超人呢。
I believe you all had a superman dream when you were a child, I tell you, I grew up to realize this dream, now every day to work a person to do the work of eight people, I am really a superman.
十四、我就想问问朋友圈的各位,为什么不找我聊天,我可是为了你们专门学的打字。
I would like to ask everyone in the circle of friends, why don you chat with me, But I learn to type for you.
十五、我现在郑重的对着你们发誓,为了减肥,我以后再也不会喝奶茶了,如果我要是违法规定,那么就让我认识的你们胖十斤,嘻嘻!
I solemnly swear to you now, in order to reduce weight, I will never drink milk tea, if I should break the law, so let me know you fat ten jin, hee hee!
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